“Dance me to the children who are asking to be born.”   -Leonard Cohen

Kathleen’s Story

How to start? I have 4 sisters–3 older, 1 younger. My mother and father never got along that I can remember. My mother was mom to a point. My father was never there. All he did was drink. I can remember the day we—as in all my sisters and mom—were outside on the steps, just talking with our friends.  Even my mom, because she was the mom of town (smile).

Anyway, my dad was coming home from the bar. All of us were like, “Here he comes.” The next thing we know he was fighting with my mom because she was outside with all of us. He was calling her every name in the book that would not be a nice name.

Well, my life: I have been to jail the past 3 years in a row—2006, 2007, 2008. This year is the year I have been here because I asked God to help me save myself from the street. I am also having a baby again. All the years I been locked up I had a baby. But this baby is blessed.

My boyfriend did not want me to have this baby. Being pregnant in prison is no fun. I was going to kill my unborn child. I prayed to God for help with his child. I keep on praying, praying. Then when I talked to my children’s father, I told him that I had killed the baby. Before I told him this though, he said that if I did not do it he would not bring my son up to see me. It has been so hard for me to talk to my babies’ father every day, having him think I killed our child. Yet at the same time, I wanted to see my son. This went on for almost 2 and ? months. I keep on praying, asking God to help me.

In the middle of the summer I was on the phone with him, and I told him. The way I said it was, “I got to tell you something.” He was like, “What?” I started to cry because I knew he would hate me because of what I have done–lie to him. Then I told him that I never killed the baby. He was like, “I hate you!” and hung up the phone on me. I called right back but he did not answer the phone. This went on for three weeks after. I could only talk to my son because of my boyfriend’s mother (who was taking care of our child.) This was so hard for me, to lie to the person I love. But I knew if God did not want me to have this child then God would of never put it inside of me again. Being pregnant in prison is hard.

The baby Doc here is good, but could be better. Since I have told my kids’ father about me not killing our child, he came to see me. This was the first time since I had told him. He is still upset, but today we talked about it for some time. I don’t bring it up all the time, but without God’s help I know I would of never been able to tell him that he is going to have another child.

This was not easy to keep it from him, but God understands today that what I went through was good because right now I’m having a LITTLE BABY BOY. I am blessed to have God in my life, not because he wants to, but because Kathleen asked and prayed for God to save me and do what God needs for me to be a better child of God. This is my story. My advice to the women out in the street or in the prison: if you are having a child, pray to God to make the right decision before you do something that you really don’t want to do because of your boyfriend. Remember this: God also knows what he wants for his children before it ever happened to anyone. I hope I help someone out with my story. God bless each and every one. -Kathleen

A Brief Reflection

Kathleen is a 28 year old white Roman Catholic woman and a recovering drug addict. She has had eight children, including the one she is pregnant with. Six of her children have been adopted. “The kids’ father,” as she refers to her boyfriend, is raising one son who is three years old. Kathleen, as you can hear in her words, made a critical decision–not to abort the present child in her womb. In Philadelphia, when a female inmate is pregnant and about to give birth, she is brought to an outside hospital for the delivery. She is then allowed to stay with the child for 24 hours “to bond.” After this, the child goes to a foster family or approved family member or friend until her term in prison is finished. In Kathleen’s case, a friend of hers will keep this child until she gets out in about a year. At that time she plans to be reunited with her boyfriend and the other child.  Whether in prison or not, every year Kathleen’s situation is magnified thousands of times across the country and millions of times around the globe.

Co-Editors:

Father Paul Morrissey O.S.A. & George Munyan